Better Late Than Never.....

We say it all the time, better late than never, when we send a belated birthday card, return a library book 2 months after it was due, get to work late because there was "traffic". But sometimes in life, late is just.... too late. I've seen, more times than I like to count, families unwilling or unable to put aside past grievances to make amends with the dying. Once the dying become the deceased -- the window of burying the hatchet (pardon the pun) has been closed, sealed and will not open again until we all get where we're going.

I recently reached out to a family member I hadn't spoken to in nearly 6 years. While, admittedly, the rift was over something silly -- it still took me 6 years to get up the courage to make the first move. What if I was rejected? What if they didn't want anything to do with me? Well, at least I would know. My story ends happily -- we reconnected and are working on rebuilding our relationship. Part of what prompted my move was the thought of getting a call that he had passed -- and never having the chance to say the things I needed to say. I suppose living every day in the death care business makes me more aware and sensitive to these situations - but I still believe it is a reality we all need to face. All of us -- yes, ALL OF US, have someone we've lost touch with. Sometimes the distance is over a dispute, sometimes its simply life and the passage of time. What about that best friend you had in high school that your haven't spoken to in 20 years. Think it doesn't matter? Wait until you find out they've passed --- it will matter then. What about the brother, sister, cousin you haven't spoken to for God knows how long because of some assumed wrong or hurt. Right now, clinging to your pride and principles -- you feel pretty good. Try sitting at their death bed or at their funeral and wishing like heck you hadn't passed up the opportunity to see them. Swallow your pride, be the bigger person, take the chance - FORGIVE. Forgiveness doesn't mean they were right and you were wrong. Forgiveness means life is too short for you to harbor feelings of hatred or ill-will in your heart. Trust me: do it now, while you still can. I'll step off my soapbox now and resume normal activities. Thank you.