For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord
Romans 6:23
When Jim and I got into the funeral business, I thought for sure the hardest part would be dealing with the deceased. Being a pretty emotional girl, I thought seeing a deceased person would send me into a fit of tears. To my surprise, it's not the dead, but the living who break my heart.
As humans, we try to hold tightly to those we love. Even as Christians -- we may know in our minds and believe in our hearts that death is simply the end of our Earthly lives -- but we still want our loved ones here with us. Maybe its the uncertainty -- that gap that should be filled by faith, that gets tested in the face of death. When we lose a loved one we feel cheated -- no matter how much time we had with them, it wasn't enough. This makes sense in cases of young deaths -- people who didn't get a chance to live a full life. But it also happens with older adults. Senior citizens who, by the calendar at least, have lived a good long life still leave behind struggling, greiving, and sometimes angry loved ones. How do you fill a void that has been filled by a loving spouse for over half a century? How is that ever enough time to have spent with them? Our vows say "til death do us part" --- but how do you live with the separation? Unless God calls us home together - there is always going to be one left behind.
I've heard people say - "they are in a better place now." Why doesn't that give me any comfort? If something happened to someone I loved -- as wonderful as I imagine Heaven is -- I want them here with me. So I struggle with the living. I can hold the hands of the deaceased, and know they truly are in a better place -- a place with no suffering, no sickness, no pain. But I don't know what to say to the husband who just watched his wife take her last breath or the parents who have outlived a child. What can you say?
I don't know what the right answer is -- I'm not sure there is one. But I've listened to my husband and he always seems to say the right thing. He doesn't talk about the death - but the life of the person. I think memories are the best medicine for grief. You can be burdened and shackled to the death -- or you can be uplifted by the memories of the life. So my wish, for whomever is left behind when I go to meet Jesus - remember my life. Remember that I was a dreamer with my head in the clouds. Remember that I loved Skittles. Remember the time I sat in a tree stand, traveled to Japan, married my best friend. Remember that when I get to Heaven - and I will - that the first thing I will do after hugging my Dad's neck, is ask God to watch over everyone I left behind.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
10 Things I've Learned About Funeral Service...
Sorry for the long delay between posts Friends. Hopefully we are back on track now.
Well, we've closed the books on our first month in business. Jim and I are humbled and grateful beyond words for the generous outpouring of trust and support from the Charleston community. We have served so many wonderful families -- some of whom we will have a continued connection with. It's been a month of growing, learning and finding our own in the funeral business. We're a little different -- and people are starting to catch on. It's exciting to see the path that's being set out for us. I've learned so much - I couldn't begin to share it all. So, I've made a list of the TOP TEN.
10 THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT FUNERAL SERVICE:
10 - We are all flawed, fallen, mortal humans. Death is a part of life. Dealing with loss is a part of living.
9 - Waffle House is just as good after a long night of working, as it is after a long night of playing.
8 - True love is being by the bedside of your spouse of over 50 years as they let go of this life.
7 - Morgue attendants are really nice people, not creepy like on TV.
6 - Working 16 hours a day by your husband's side on YOUR business is more satisfying than working 8 for someone else's.
5 - People are buried in caskets, vampires live in coffins. You want to get under a funeral director's skin?? Ask to see his coffins.
4 - You never know what will connect you to other people - living and passed. I've felt closer to my Dad in the last month than I have my entire 29 years. My husband says he would be proud of me -- and that's something I've waited my whole life to hear...
3 - Nurses are God's angels on earth. They've done it all, seen it all and without a lot of sleep --- and yet, they are always a joy to work with.
2 - You will get looks when driving a hearse.
1 - Life is a gift --- every minute of it. Seeing death on a daily basis helps put insignificant things like bad hair days, bad attitudes and bad traffic into perspective.
Well Friends, I hope you enjoy the rest of your week --- stay tuned for updates!!
MD
Well, we've closed the books on our first month in business. Jim and I are humbled and grateful beyond words for the generous outpouring of trust and support from the Charleston community. We have served so many wonderful families -- some of whom we will have a continued connection with. It's been a month of growing, learning and finding our own in the funeral business. We're a little different -- and people are starting to catch on. It's exciting to see the path that's being set out for us. I've learned so much - I couldn't begin to share it all. So, I've made a list of the TOP TEN.
10 THINGS I'VE LEARNED ABOUT FUNERAL SERVICE:
10 - We are all flawed, fallen, mortal humans. Death is a part of life. Dealing with loss is a part of living.
9 - Waffle House is just as good after a long night of working, as it is after a long night of playing.
8 - True love is being by the bedside of your spouse of over 50 years as they let go of this life.
7 - Morgue attendants are really nice people, not creepy like on TV.
6 - Working 16 hours a day by your husband's side on YOUR business is more satisfying than working 8 for someone else's.
5 - People are buried in caskets, vampires live in coffins. You want to get under a funeral director's skin?? Ask to see his coffins.
4 - You never know what will connect you to other people - living and passed. I've felt closer to my Dad in the last month than I have my entire 29 years. My husband says he would be proud of me -- and that's something I've waited my whole life to hear...
3 - Nurses are God's angels on earth. They've done it all, seen it all and without a lot of sleep --- and yet, they are always a joy to work with.
2 - You will get looks when driving a hearse.
1 - Life is a gift --- every minute of it. Seeing death on a daily basis helps put insignificant things like bad hair days, bad attitudes and bad traffic into perspective.
Well Friends, I hope you enjoy the rest of your week --- stay tuned for updates!!
MD
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Thank you for checking out The Great Undertaking! This is going to be an exciting journey -- and I look forward to sharing it with all of you.
My husband and I started SIMPLICITY Lowcountry Cremation & Burial Services in Charleston, South Carolina as an alternative to the "traditional" funeral home. A little less than a month in to business ownership - we are learning a lot about the funeral industry, our selves and our marriage.
I grew up in the funeral industry. My grandfather, father and uncle were all funeral directors. My father passed away when I was a baby -- but I imagine he is getting a good chuckle now -- watching his daughter marry a fellow funeral director -- and start a life in the death care business.
My husband has been a funeral director for over 15 years. People often ask "how did you get into that line of work"?? My answer: its a calling. You must have a heart for the hurting, the patience of Job and the ability to find joy in LIFE, while serving families who are dealing with death. My husband was truly called to serve as a funeral director. He is calm, fluid and easygoing in any situation. He puts families at ease and takes everything in stride. I, on the other hand, am better at life than I am at death. But, that's what makes this journey interesting......
My husband and I started SIMPLICITY Lowcountry Cremation & Burial Services in Charleston, South Carolina as an alternative to the "traditional" funeral home. A little less than a month in to business ownership - we are learning a lot about the funeral industry, our selves and our marriage.
I grew up in the funeral industry. My grandfather, father and uncle were all funeral directors. My father passed away when I was a baby -- but I imagine he is getting a good chuckle now -- watching his daughter marry a fellow funeral director -- and start a life in the death care business.
My husband has been a funeral director for over 15 years. People often ask "how did you get into that line of work"?? My answer: its a calling. You must have a heart for the hurting, the patience of Job and the ability to find joy in LIFE, while serving families who are dealing with death. My husband was truly called to serve as a funeral director. He is calm, fluid and easygoing in any situation. He puts families at ease and takes everything in stride. I, on the other hand, am better at life than I am at death. But, that's what makes this journey interesting......
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