Let's just take a breath....

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Psalm 91

I've tried, tried for over 36 hours to close my eyes and pretend that Friday never happened. That 20 sweet, beautiful, innocent kindergartners are home with their parents tonight. But, they're not. And I can't make sense of it.

I wrote a blog on 9/11 about how 11 years later, I still can't wrap my head around the tragedy. Well, apparently the world wants to give me some practice because there hasn't been a shortage of tragedy lately. But, the latest act of violence...... is kindergartners. Angels, precious angels. I can't even put it into words -- and putting things into words, its what I do.

Friday, for the first time EVER, I got involved in a political discussion on Facebook. One of my friends made an ignorant comment (in my opinion) about gun control and after trying to process the killing of 20 children and listening to my coworkers incessant babble -- I put my two cents in. I got involved in a mug slinging, sensationalist political fist fight about gun control while 40 parents went home to empty houses and thought about making funeral arrangements for their kindergartners. What the hell is wrong with me?! What the hell is wrong with this world? How, in the name of God, could someone do this? How could anyone look a sweet, innocent child in the face and pull the trigger? I don't get it, I will never get it.

I'll save you the "Kumbaya", "Lets all get along" crap. I'm someone who's life literally revolves around death. Literally. I see it everyday of my life. And I don't have an answer for this one. I don't know how the families will ever move on. I don't know how the surviving students and teachers will ever recover. I don't know how any of us make sense of this.

And, to top it all off --- the sorry S.O.B responsible for yesterday's massacre killed himself. How convenient. The rest of us are left to pick up the pieces and he makes a calculated exit. Good thing I'm not the judge and jury for the hereafter.

And we all want to take this opportunity to beat our political and moral chests. Gun control this, pubic schools that. Really?! We want to make that the issue? A man walks into an elementary school and opens fire after killing his own mother and we want to argue with each other? GROW UP. The world is hard and it's getting harder everyday and we need to decide if we are living for this world or the next. We can scream about tougher gun laws and the pros of homeschooling all day long -- but it doesn't bring back 26 innocent lives. All I can do is pray. That's all I've got.

So, what to take away from this? You read my blog today looking for answers or a different perspective -- but you might walk away disappointed. All day Friday I kept thinking about two things. I got cut off on my way to work and not only blew the horn, but cursed the culprit. It was a girl, about my age -- who probably didn't see me. But, in my haste and hurry to get to work, I showed her much less than I was called to. I also thought about my beautiful niece who is in kindergarten. I could get through the day with watery eyes, but when I thought about her -- the waterworks started. Death at any age is hard for those left behind -- even when it comes as a blessing. But, the death of a 6 year old... there are no words.

So, my moral tonight is this: Let's all take a deep breath. Go hug your families. Snuggle those beautiful babies and tell your spouse you love them. Remember that we are called here to love each other. I'm not preaching a high and mighty sermon here -- I am trying to remind myself too. Everyday I have to make the decision if I am going to be who He called me to be, or if I am going to get down in the mud and join the fist fight. We've taken enough punches folks. It would be all too easy to let the events at Sandy Hook Elementary fill us with hate. Right now, I hate the man who robbed 26 families of their loved ones. Hate him. But, lucky for me I have a God whom I can pray to for the strength to find forgiveness. That's my prayer for all of us -- strength. I can't give you anything else but my prayers. I can't do anything for the victims, but pray. I can't think of anything that will help, but pray. So, pray. If you are a praying person - pray. If you've never prayed in your life -  pray. Pray for the families, the first responders, the victims and the nation that tries to wrap our heads around it. Just take a breath and pray.

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 19:14